Memoria III

Hearing the stories of heart break that are have come from the lives of my friends have brought a realisation to me: Have I become so numb to the concept of romance that I longer believe in it? I mean, its not that I don't believe in love but maybe I longer believe in the idea of romantic love.

Love has lost that notion of magic that it once held over me. I have come to look at it as secondary to a lot of other things. Maybe I've become more practical then I'd ever hope to be or maybe I'm just tired and stress from the weight of my studies but love no longer seems to have that wonderful warm feeling from that time long ago.

In many a ways, I envy my friends. Their heart breaks and their hopes that one day someone will come and sweep them off their feet. I envy them because I no longer seem to be able to feel that way. Well, maybe one day I will feel like that again. Maybe one day I will feel alive as I once did. There's always hope. Or failing that, there is always photographs; which always brings the wonderful self-reflecting idea of death to one's mind and thus forcing one to really appreciate life.

Or sometimes, wishing for a quicker end to it. Oh well...

p/s: Something interesting happened when I was in Uni on Sat (YES! Sat! I like it when Uni is empty and quiet). I was helping a classmate fix some Avid problems and sensing she was bored of looking at me click the mouse, I let her read my short story. And to my surprise, even though she doesn't know me that well and has never really read my work, she could tell that a lot of the characters in it were based on me. Guess its always a good sign that people can tell your writing style.